


i've got hooks in my sides that you left there

by Wyverwithy



Series: songs gone unsung [1]
Category: Tailchaser's Song - Tad Williams
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Short One Shot, Trauma, as is pouncequick and hushpad, fritti's family are mentioned by name but don't actually appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26382214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wyverwithy/pseuds/Wyverwithy
Summary: Tailchaser hasn't confronted or acknowledged his trauma since his adventure began, and now that it's come to a close, he still insists on ignoring it. Especially when it comes to his family. That is, until Roofshadow steps in.
Relationships: Fritti Tailchaser/Firsa Roofshadow
Series: songs gone unsung [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046587
Kudos: 1





	i've got hooks in my sides that you left there

**Author's Note:**

> No one's going to read this but it was fun to write,,, anyway these cats have trauma and it's never addressed in canon so I decided to do my duty. It's probably a little out of character but uh?? it's fine. Major spoilers for the book, obviously lol

It’d been only a month since Fritti Tailchaser came back from Villa-on-Mar. When he’d trotted into the forest of Firsthome, both Roofshadow and Pouncequick had been surprised--after all, he had only recently announced to them his departure. When he relayed to them what had happened with a grin on his face, their puzzlement didn’t waver. He didn’t explain further. He was just happy to see them again.

He invited them to travel back to Old Woods to meet his clan. He had so many stories to sing, and it wouldn’t be the same without his friends to accompany him. Pouncequick had politely declined, however. Tailchaser… hadn’t been all that surprised. Ever since Vastnir, the young tom had his attention elsewhere. He suspected he was looking to become a master old-singer, or perhaps a far-senser. He couldn’t blame him.

Roofshadow agreed. Although, with an intensity in her eyes he was still getting used to, she told him they’d only begin travelling again when he actually rested up. “You’re still wounded, Tailchaser,” she’d huffed. “Give yourself time to heal.”

He hadn’t been quite sure what she’d meant--he felt fine, and already some of his wounds had healed over--but after a bit of arguing, he'd reluctantly agreed.

It only truly hit him when he woke up one night, gasping for air. 

The dark dirt tunnels faded back into the shrubbery of Firsthome, Meerclar’s Eye glinting in through the canopy overhead. The sounds of groans and agonized yowls were simply the calls of nightbirds. He was shivering, not from the cold that came from deep underground, but from the crisp air of Deepest Quiet. 

Roofshadow lay sleeping beside him. He leaned into her warmth, breathing in her scent, and tried to steady his breathing. Tried to forget the red talons that haunted him. Tried to forget the violent crunch of bones. Tried to forget the screaming bellow of an ancient, dying god being  _ crushed _ \--

She stirred. Tired green eyes slowly blinked open to look at him. “Fritti?”

The sound of his heart-name made his pulse slow. He sighed shakily, giving her a gentle nuzzle. “Sorry for waking you.”

She shifted, lifting her head up to study him fully. Her concerned frown slowly melted into something softer. “Nightmare?”

“...Yeah.”  


She looked away. Her gaze grew distant, infinitely exhausted. “I’ve been having them, too. I think… we all have.”

A long, comfortable pause settled between them. Tailchaser groomed her shoulder absentmindedly. Anything to ease the last of his nerves. Still, he couldn’t get the images out of his head. He swallowed thickly.

“Firsa?”

“Yes?”

“I’m…” He hesitated. He stared at his paws, noting the scars littering them, now. Several of his claws had been torn out from their quest. They ached with their absence. “My family disappeared, before Hushpad did. And I found her. Do you think… they could still be alive?”

He could feel Roofshadow’s eyes on him. He didn’t turn to look. Because deep down, he knew the answer. They hadn’t been taken like Hushpad had. The last thing he’d smelled of them had been their fear. If Flickerswift’s kittens back in Old Woods had been taken, possibly  _ killed _ , then…

“Many cats died in the Vastnir Mound, Fritti,” she murmured quietly. “Far too many. If they’d been taken there, and they’d lived, I think we would’ve seen them by now... I’m so sorry.”

Tailchaser flattened his ears, shutting his eyes tightly. For ages, he’d ignored the possibility. He’d barely coped with their disappearance to begin with. And now, knowing what Vastnir was like, imagining how much his mother had suffered was a painful reality. He couldn’t even begin to think about how horribly his siblings must’ve been treated. He’d been closest to his sister Clearsong, she’d been strong and capable, but that might’ve been her downfall. And, oh life-givers, little Softwhisker…

A forehead pressed against his. His breath caught in his throat. Firsa purred softly, twining her tail with his. Only when she started to lick his face did he realize he’d been sobbing.

He melted into her contact, burying his face into her neck, overwhelmed by grief and horror. The reality of everything that had happened over the past summer hit him in a tidal wave, threatening to drown him. Roofshadow held him close. He trusted her to not let go.

He wasn't fine, but that was okay. He was safe. And he could finally let himself heal.


End file.
